Updating again! =D
Suddenly feel a load off my shoulders..
Giving up may really be a good solution.
And from this I've learnt a lot of things..
Never to find someone who is a Christian. =)
Anyone unhappy with this statement can come flame me for all I care =D
Although I've not completely given up, I can say that I've gave up about half already.
Which is a good thing.
I hope after this I wun be emo again.
But how? I feel so alone in this world. Like
as if anyone cared about this pathetic life of mine. Live or die, who cares? I don't make a difference to anyone, and I'm not important to anyone at all. Its not like I don't know that. I just refuse to admit it until now.
Now I know. When living in this horrible, corrupted and tainted world of ours, all you can depend on is yourself. There are no real feelings for each other. These are just false pretenses that you see. In truth, our world is void of feelings. So why care? Our lives may seem precious to some people, but have you thought they could be trash to them? Why bother about death, killing and disease?

Everyone is heading for the same end- death. Does it matter if its early or later? Why not have some fun? Wage war or something. Make others suffer for your sufferings. Recieve the wrath of the people who have suffered. Throw this world into a state of chaos. Instill fear into your enemies; make them pay for what they have done. If you survive after all of this, maybe you'll come out a happier person, smiling and standing atop the corpses of the fallen. "Thou hath endured torment to find the gift of the goddess at world's end". Is the gift of the goddess something which will make us happy, to feel good? Or is it something which everyone will find in the end- death? The torment that I have gone through, the things which I have experienced, will lead me to the gift of the goddess. But what lies in wait at the end? Will my world crumble under the pressure? Will I survive? The answer is, no.
So what are we living for, at all? Don't give me bullshit.

Are we living for ourselves, or for others, or nothing at all?
If this life was really given by God, if this life is controlled by God, then what is my point of existence? Even if the morrow is barren of promises, nothing shall forestall my return. Is that really possible? To struggle for your life, to endure everything that is thrown at you, and not forestall you? Think..

Why not ponder about the things around you? When someone says something, do you even think of the contradictions and questions that may pop out? This is MY life. And I'm doing whatever I can to make it MINE.